Sarah McCammon . For Desiree Middleton, 50, in Los Angeles, the pandemic has also been hard on some relationships. They can introduce us to new hobbies, new people and new places. Things fake friends do that real friends don’t mediabest January 10, 2020 Do Fake Friends re That things Back in the analog days, when friends were pretty much limited to people we actually knew IRL, hardly anyone’s friend count reached up into the thousands. Part of HuffPost Wellness. San Diego news; when you want it, where you want it. Or, is it about trying to figure out what to say 'yes' to?" Check out the latest health news, articles, advice, and trends for you and your family on topics like nutrition, weight loss, popular diets, and exercise. And she has found it especially hard to navigate these negotiations without being face-to-face. They don't get sidetracked by what others may say or think of you. … . Do you think your friends secretly dislike you? at 7:41 a.m.), Brush Fire In Fallbrook Spreads Into Camp Pendleton, Evacuations Ordered, 'Dude, I'm Done': When Politics Tears Families And Friendships Apart, Pandemic Deepens Cancer's Stress And Tough Choices, Kids Feel Pandemic Stress Too. Dec 24, 2020, Airs Thursday, Dec. 24, 2020 at 10 p.m. on KPBS 2, (Posted Offering creative alternatives can help soften the impact of conversations about social distancing, says Alise Bartley, a counseling professor at Florida Gulf Coast University. . Here's How To Help Them Thrive, Starting A COVID-19 'Social Bubble'? It’s not just older people who need to make new friends. Do I have any real friends or are they all fake? Middleton says the swirl of misinformation around the coronavirus has complicated discussions about the need for mask-wearing and social distancing. ‘What real friends do’ The pandemic, and the social distancing it’s necessitated, have strained some social connections. ‘What Real Friends Do’: How to Navigate Tough Conversations About COVID-19 With a spike in COVID-19 cases colliding with cold weather and the holidays, many Americans are facing difficult decisions about whether and how to socialize. "I have people that don't believe the virus is real; they feel like it's a government conspiracy," Middleton says. This test is not based on any scientific study whatsoever. Turns out it's not like you think it is. Middleton recently had to turn down an invitation to visit another close friend because she didn't feel safe getting on a plane – and her friend's response made her feel closer, she says. 5. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Even for a physician, asking loved ones to wear masks and stay distant from each other can be difficult, says Dr. Tista Ghosh, an epidemiologist in Colorado and the state's former chief medical officer. "It can be hard, but at the end of the day, they're still family," he says. Real friends will show up if you need a helping hand and will show up to celebrate with you afterward. MCCAMMON: And until that vaccine becomes widely available, it might be a good time for all of us to try being a little more understanding, even at a distance. That's what real friends do. Ghosh advises looking for safer ways to connect, such as eating a holiday meal separately and then going for a walk together, or even meeting up in different cars for a tailgate party. It feels like these are conversations that need to be had.". Your intuition will tell you that a particular person is not to be trusted blindly. So I created a quiz to help you find out one way or the other. ". Get local stories on politics, education, health, environment, the border and more. Take a look and see which ones you can match to the people in your lives. Loyalty, care and connection: In a real friendship, loyalty is key and connection is the currency. Founder of projecthappiness.org, author, filmmaker. But they've forced others to become deeper and more genuine. Keep up with all the latest news, arts and culture, and TV highlights from KPBS. A 'Stay Home' sign is taped to a driver's vehicle as she passes Christmas lights during a car caravan of nurses calling for people to remain home amid a surge of COVID-19 cases in El Paso on November 16, 2020. "Based on each person's level of comfortability, how do we discern, 'Yes, I can do this, but I can't do this?' You understand each other. Are they your REAL friends? "These are friends that I've known since middle school. One friend, I was in her wedding.". They can encourage you to become a better version of you, but they also help you see the beauty of who you are right now. Your joy is their joy, too. Fun. . On The Radio', Here's Where COVID-19 Outbreaks Have Happened In San Diego County, Hundreds Of COVID-19 Cases Tied To San Diego County Tribal Casinos, Live Blog: San Diego County Reports 2,598 New COVID-19 Cases, Trump Pardons 15 People, Including Former San Diego Rep. Duncan Hunter, COVID-19 Cases Spike At San Diego County Jails And Detention Centers, KPBS Financial You do this by acting as a real friend to the new people you meet. How Safe Sex Communication Skills Can Help, It Was Just 30 Units, But An East LA Apartment Fire Underscores The Veteran Housing Crisis, Live Updates: Brush Fire In Fallbrook Spreads Into Camp Pendleton, Evacuations Ordered, Republicans Block $2,000 Virus Checks Despite Trump Demand, The Old Globe Production Of 'Dr. People can hide their intentions on others very well, they are your friends from outside, but you never know what's going in their mind. New friends can bring interest and excitement back into our lives. Real friends will help you move furniture, ride to the airport with you, and assist you with your homework. Please refer to 10 things “real” friends never do! December 17, 2020 08:15 AM . Take a look and see which ones you can match to the people in your lives. Bartley says. Here are some of the qualities that I am grateful for in my friends. ©2020 Verizon Media. 1. That's a lot of hard work. Balance of power: Real friendships are not about one person being the star and the other being the servant. Friends are the people we go too for inspiration when we are feeling down and need support. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have released their long-awaited Christmas card, showing the pair posing with son Archie and two dogs. "I think putting that out there upfront, especially with older parents, is important.". Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. 9. A real friend accepts you as you are. Davidson says it's been frustrating to witness some of his family members' skepticism about the need for social distancing, but the stress of the pandemic also made him appreciate them more. Let each other grow: Life is dynamic and people change. Real friends check in with one another. Real friends understand, and because they understand they are capable of forgiving. at 7:41 a.m.), LATEST UPDATES: Tracking COVID-19 | Racial Justice. Sarah McCammon, NPR News. 12 months later, the royal couple are spending their first Christmas in their new £11m "forever" home in California - and Meghan plans to host friends and family for the special day. Even when they disagree with you ("that hat looks like it came from a dead opossum") they still support you … Do you think they are faking it? - To view PDF documents, Download Acrobat Reader. 12/24/20 Do they lie to you or others? 4. "In this specific time, it feels so much more important that we have those conversations," says Thomas Davidson, 18, who lives near Philadelphia with his parents and two siblings. 7. This, of course, doesn’t happen overnight. Having lost loved ones and friends they need new friends too. + Subscribe to our podcasts. this year we started off good and i thought we could actually be friends, but then she started again. We learn as we grow. Listen to them. I do have male friends, but they do not behave in this way, and I would be very concerned if they did. You recognize real friends who show an underlying kindness, especially when times are tough. Breaking News: Brush Fire In Fallbrook Spreads Into Camp Pendleton, Evacuations Ordered Explore celebrity trends and tips on fashion, style, beauty, diets, health, relationships and more. "Is it about saying 'no'? Water the plant: Like plants, friendships need to … Celebrate the good stuff: Real friends celebrate your victories. PRINCE Harry and Meghan Markle haven't exactly been frugal this Christmas as they splashed 5K ($7K) on a playhouse for Archie. F is for forgiveness: When conflicts come up, real friends have the courage to reach out directly rather than gossiping and letting irritations grow. Find everything out by passing the test! But they've forced others to become deeper and more genuine. Yes, best friends are excellent listeners, they will listen to whatever you tell … With a spike in COVID-19 cases colliding with cold weather and … Seuss’s How The Grinch Stole Christmas! Information, download "I think before the pandemic, a lot of us were just on surface-level friendships," she says. Nothing makes sense anymore? A friend who really knows how to separate himself from the fake stories about you. We do things for one another because we want to. Real Friends Lyrics: No, I think I'll stay in tonight / Skip the conversations and the "Oh, I'm fine's" / No, I'm no stranger to surprise / This paper town has let me down too many times / Why do I Other people are also in the same position. All rights reserved. Whether writing a response to a photo tagged on Facebook, sending a birthday card by post, or making a hospital visit, the efforts we make for our friends are intentional acts of kindness. "She was like, 'OK, when that vaccine comes, you're gonna be here,' and I'm like, 'Absolutely,' " Middleton says. New episodes are ready weekday mornings. But they've forced others to become deeper and more genuine. . Find everything out by passing the test! Real friends give each other the space to grow, the time to recalibrate, and the open door to sharing insights that only come from experience. Get the day's top news — ranging from local to international — straight to your inbox each weekday morning. Real friends give each other the space to grow, the time to recalibrate, and the open door to sharing insights that only come from experience. "When we see the political headlines, when we see the news about COVID, it feels like these are conversations we can't just push to the side and focus on our family dynamic. While different people have different qualities, just thinking about them makes me smile. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org. "I have people that don't believe the virus is real; they feel like it's a government conspiracy," Middleton says. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. The denialism she's witnessed among some old friends is particularly painful, Middleton says, because she's had family members who've been sick with the virus. Avoid making too many demands of your friends. 'What real friends do' The pandemic, and the social distancing it's necessitated, have strained some social connections. Turns out it's not like you think it is. Do I have any real friends or are they all fake? Don’t talk behind your back. The couple abandoned their royal duties earlier this year to … The spike in COVID-19 numbers, coinciding with the holidays, is forcing many people to have difficult conversations with friends and family about whether and how to gather. "Because that's what friends do – we understand each other – that's what real friends do.". Nothing makes sense anymore? i hate confrontation and i wanna fix everything but i dont know what to do. Her sister, who is pregnant, has been taking social distancing rules very seriously, she says, but others in the family are more eager to get together indoors. (Posted She's even lost some friends. Everyone needs a little positive energy here and there, and true friends have it in spades. Never miss a beat with MailOnline's latest news for women. Whether that is every day or on birthdays every year, it is always special. You know they have your back. As it gets colder, and harder to gather outdoors, some of Kenzie Billings' conversations with her loved ones are feeling a bit more fraught. Ask questions to get a … "It's felt frustrating at times. NPR 'What Real Friends Do': How to Navigate Tough Conversations About COVID-19. i now have one really good friend but the other one has started to hurt her also. It's about being able to take turns: understanding and being understood, giving and getting support, and caring enough to listen for words unspoken. 6. Real friends see past the surface, and appreciate the good qualities in you. You Feel It In Your Gut. parts: 12 Evil_thing . Take up the test below and get to find out for sure. START. I think we all wonder this at times - sometimes people do (or don't do) the things you'd expect a good friend to do. Try to understand a situation from your friend’s point of view. Being real: With your real friends, you can laugh or cry, be either silly or serious, and still feel the warmth of true connection. That follows the Thanksgiving holiday when many families gathered despite public health recommendations. Real friends look beyond the sparkle of personality to the essence of what makes each other tick. I used to have these kinds of “friends” up until recent times, and I know how much it sucks to put your trust on them and to give your precious time for being in their company. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, The essential guide to taking care of your mind and body. For Middleton, in Los Angeles, it's also been a time to communicate more honestly with some of her friends. She's even lost some friends. Hospitals in many parts of the country are reporting another surge in coronavirus patients. Focus on the good: You don't have to impress real friends. Hosted by Anica Colbert and produced by KPBS, San Diego and the Imperial County's NPR and PBS station. "And now we're actually sharing the deep, painful parts of our lives with each other, and saying things that last year I was like, 'Oh, I never would have told you this because I'd never want you to think this about me.' Ghosh says she's had difficult conversations in her own family, and she advises keeping the focus on the desire to keep everyone safe and healthy. "One of the things that I think is important to acknowledge upfront is that you care about them and you don't want anything to happen to them, and it's not just about you," Ghosh says. ", "We're actually sharing the deep, painful parts of our lives". Nov 26 This goes for friendships, too. The Sussexes posed in front of a … 9. Take it now! "So there's a lot of push and pull there in terms of, 'OK, where are my boundaries?' You know, you can feel energy from people in terms of wanting to be together," the 29-year-old from Portland, Ore., says. "These are friends that I've known since middle school. Kindness counts: Fair-weather friends are fun when times are good. Friends aren’t bound by blood or family bonds, employment contracts or legal obligations. ‘What Real Friends Do’: How to Navigate Tough Conversations About COVID-19. 8. 2. And then exerting those boundaries is actually really hard, with the people that you love," Billings says. Acrobat Reader. They are good listeners. A white lie is one thing, but if someone regularly lies, that’s a good way … You understand each other. What other qualities are on your list? What is most important for real friendship to blossom? i have a "friend" thats always been rude to me and bossed me around. Some believe that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Mistakes are part of life: Real friends don't condemn you for making mistakes; we're all human, and mistakes, too, are part of life. 12/24/20 My best advice would be to distance yourself away from this guy, do not send any more texts, do not respond to his texts, and find yourself a more suitable friend. Do I Have Real Friends? MCCAMMON: And until that vaccine becomes widely available, it might be a good time for all of us to try being a little more understanding, even at a distance. Real friends make you feel needed, confident, and happy. That's what real friends do. While different people have different qualities, just thinking about them makes me smile. Copyright 2020 NPR. But they’ve forced others to become deeper and more genuine. from Do I Have Real Friends? The pandemic, and the social distancing it's necessitated, have strained some social connections. Want more KPBS news?Find us on Twitter and Facebook, or sign up for our newsletters. shes always taken my real friends away from me. A 'Stay Home' sign is taped to a driver's vehicle as she passes Christmas lights during a car caravan of nurses calling for people to remain home amid a surge of COVID-19 cases in El Paso on November 16, 2020. But how can you tell which, if any, of your friends are real "keepers?" California State University psychology professor Kelly Campbell says that true friends "should have your best interest at heart, stand up for you in your absence, keep your secrets, treat you with respect, be trustworthy and supportive, and be happy for your successes," (via HackSpirit ). 10. 3. 1. Water the plant: Like plants, friendships need to be watered, too. If someone deliberately spreads false information or shares the secrets you’ve ever asked them to keep, they probably don’t deserve your trust. It is intended for fun only so do … Need help keeping up with the news that matters most? Here are some of the qualities that I am grateful for in my friends. They want the best for you and have the caring and confidence to be genuinely happy for your successes. 2. ‘What Real Friends Do’: How to Navigate Tough Conversations About COVID-19 Sarah McCammon | December 16, 2020 A “Stay Home” sign is taped to a driver’s vehicle as she passes Christmas lights during a car caravan of nurses calling for people to remain home amid a coronavirus surge last month in El Paso, Texas. Have you ever wondered if one of your friends was a real friend or just a fake? Multiple dates 'What real friends do' The pandemic, and the social distancing it's necessitated, have strained some social connections. Thats always been rude to me and bossed me around 's latest,... This by acting as a real friend accepts you as you are the of... Excitement back into our lives do … you Feel it in your Gut you that a person! Show an underlying kindness, especially with older parents, is important. `` another we... 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