The writers of Family Guy have gotten a lot of mileage out of satirizing the sex lives of NBA players. When Peter tells Glenn of his suspicion, he laughs it off and then defends his dad as a war hero. In one episode of Family Guy, Quagmire managed to get a hold of a private plane. Thanks for understanding that we can’t do anything. Is Lady Gaga a douche?” “I don’t think so.” “Well, whatever it is, I like it.”. — Stewie Griffin , Family Guy , Season 3 : From Method to Madness. Family Guy: Quagmire's 5 Funniest Quotes (& Joe's 5 Funniest) In Family Guy, the Griffins' neighbors Joe and Quagmire are a couple of odd fellows who keep things light with some funny quotes like these 10. The go-to source for comic book and superhero movie fans. It’s a no-brainer that “Giggity giggity goo!” is Quagmire’s most memorable quote. You don’t all wear a poop sack?” Then, he gets angry and yells over to his house, “Damnit, Bonnie, you lied to me about the poop sack!”, NEXT: Family Guy: Chris' 5 Funniest Quotes (& Meg's 5 Funniest). Now, calm down; you're ruining this ball. Hey! Quagmire loses his Asians it's peters fault Family guy is copyrighted by Fox I OWN NOTHING Recap; Create New . - … What...? Meanwhile, Stewie reconnects with his old teddy bear, Oscar. It's Quagmire. “Brian, there’s a message in my alphabet [cereal]. So many movies would be cut short if one of the characters could just take out their cell phone and call 911. The writers prefer to go with long, drawn-out cutaway gags or dialogue-based jokes that take a few lines to get to the punchline. Quagmire says Truman Capote had a white wallet and the mugger is clueless. When Lois is killed, or so it seems, Peter doesn’t have the heart to tell Chris as he won’t be able to handle the heartbreak, so he dresses up Joe in a wig to take Chris back-to-school shopping. Peter : I'm carrying three handguns, and the metal detectors picked up nothing. Quotes By Genres. RELATED: The 10 Worst Family Guy Episodes Ever According To IMDb. Peter says, “Man, I bet they got fancy food up there at Harvard. [Cutaway of Joe and Quagmire at an apple orchard] Joe: Get that one. Quagmire: Yeah, no, definitely no tie. Hey, get that one. Quotes. — Stewie Griffin , Family Guy , Season 9 : And Then There Were Fewer. Peter, Cleveland, and Joe are all talking about their wives and their families and he can’t really join in. RELATED: Family Guy's 10 Darkest Episodes, Ranked, Joe as Lois says, “So, sweetie, you ready to go get some new notebooks and protractors and slacks?” Chris says, “I want blue jeans,” and Joe screams, “You’re getting SLACKS!”, Quagmire manages to score a private jet to give the guys a ride to Canada and when they ask him how he got it, he tells them, “Let’s just say I walked in on John Travolta with not Kelly Preston.”. It pokes its head in Quagmire’s bedroom window and he can be heard enjoying whatever it’s doing. He's currently in pre-production on his first feature film, Hunting Trip, and has been for a while because filmmaking is expensive. I'll give you a hint. When the beer bar buddies are preparing to go to a Patriots game, they notice some other guys getting ready to go to the game on a party bus. But the writers have incorporated all kinds of humor into the show. Not Meg!”. He tells him to use the library card in his wallet. When Quagmire met a woman who was too kinky even for him and she said, “Giggity,” he cried out in despair, “That’s my word! He also grew into Peter’s best friend when Cleveland left the show to star in his own spin-off. Quagmire replies, “I love eating food that’s sad.” The guys end up enjoying a wild night in Boston, sailing a wooden ship down the street, and Quagmire wakes up the next morning married to a prostitute. For the most part, as the title would suggest, Family Guy is a show about a family. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to volunteer for anything, but he wants to be able to make that decision for himself. I can't put it back! She died after clutching onto Death's arm. He hands his wallet over to the mugger, who comments on the fact that it’s white. Since one of the witnesses had been attending an orgy, Quagmire was chosen to determine their credibility. For the most part, as the title would suggest, Family Guy is a show about a family. - Quagmire "Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. Hey! He’s finally arrested, but then he’s later let out of jail and Joe decides to chase him down before he can leave the country. For the most part, as the title would suggest, Family Guy is a show about a family. “If anybody's gonna take that bitch down, it's gonna be me.”. Quagmire's dad comes to town for a veteran party. When the town of Quahog started experiencing a crime wave, the Griffin family decided to buy a farm. In honor of Family Guy’s 20th anniversary, here are just a few of the funniest quotes and jokes from the long-running sitcom.. 1. That’s my word! RELATED: 10 Ways Family Guy Has Changed Since Season 1. Peter quickly befriends one of the party bus guys and they all hitch a ride. Permalink: You put a real cougar on Cougar Town! In addition to writing news and features for Game Rant and lists for Screen Rant and CBR, Ben directs independent films and does standup comedy. The mugger hasn’t heard of the Breakfast at Tiffany’s author and Quagmire isn’t at all surprised. Tiegs for Two is an episode of Family Guy. !” NEXT: Family Guy: 10 Best Stewie Griffin Quotes Joe: Well, it's not going in the pie. Tagged: Snark, SASS, Tweeting. However, this is one of the show’s few one-liners and also one of its funniest because it’s true. But Quagmire’s catchphrase “Giggity, giggity, goo!” has never gone away and never will. If they could just use their cell phones, the movie would be over immediately. But Quagmire’s catchphrase “Giggity, giggity, goo!” has never gone away and never will. Many of Family Guy’s catchphrases, like Peter’s “Freakin’ sweet!” and Stewie’s “What the deuce!” and Brian’s “Whose leg do you have to hump to get a martini around here?,” have all slowly gone out of use. Quagmire: Yeah, but you can't really abort a live baby. Quagmire cracks, “What a surprise, the mugger’s never heard of Truman Capote.” As the mugger leaves, Quagmire tells him, “There’s a library card in there – use it!”. And now that cougar's dead because Courtney Cox ripped it apart with her teeth and claws! TV Show Quotes. This joke about how NBA players “get all those chicks,” referencing Kobe Bryant’s “secret,” refers to the basketball star’s 2003 sexual assault case. Family Guy Given the complete immorality of the entire cast, it's pretty much granted that any character that tries to pose themselves as The Straight Man will end up looking like this. As with most of the characters in Family Guy, Glenn Quagmire has changed a lot over the years. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time." Get that one over there. Quagmire: Well, I guess you got me there. The episode ended with a hysterical parody of a K-pop music video starring Peter, Cleveland, and Joe, imploring him to come back to Quahog with them. Glenn Quagmire Quotes Oh, Brian's a complete dick, we all know that, but I think we're losing sight of the point that Bonnie's a weird slut who's always letting you know she's open for business. [whispering] Give her back to God. Dan: Son, you have my word. When Glenn introduces Peter and Joeto him, Dan's dance to "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" implies that Dan is a homosexual, much to his friends' chagrin. 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He does whatever it takes to help his friends and protect his sister Brenda, who was often beaten by her abusive boyfriend, Jeffery Fecalman, whom Quagmire hated. Family Guy Quotes.. Quagmire falls in love with and marries the maid that Peter won on a game show only to find out that she's a psycho and must figure out a way to get out of it. When Quagmire met a woman who was too kinky even for him and she said, “Giggity,” he cried out in despair, “That’s my word! Family Guy Quotes. Dan: No, Glenn, I'm not gay. The characters have evolved away from them or the writers prefer to make meta references to the fact that they used to have catchphrases. Dan: What? He says, “Hey, can you tell me what that Lady Gaga is? The go-to source for comic book and superhero movie fans. Discover (and save!) See more ideas about family guy, family guy quotes, griffin family. In “Joe’s Revenge,” Joe is obsessed with tracking down the man whose gunshot put him in a wheelchair. Lois tries to pull him up and he says, “Pretend I’m your child, Lois.” He starts to slip and quickly adds, “Not Meg! But the writers have incorporated all kinds of humor into the show. Despite being a pervert and hypocrite, he has also been shown to have a kinder side. One of them involved Quagmire getting mugged, where a guy forced him to give him his wallet at gunpoint. “I'd like to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.”. The episode 12 and a Half Angry Men parodied the movie 12 Angry Men by having a jury trying to decide the fate of a court case (the half man was Joe, who was undercover as a bailiff in the courthouse). Family Guy: Quagmire's 5 Funniest Quotes (& Joe's 5 Funniest) W.Smith-January 29, 2021. Glenn Quagmire Quotes You put a real cougar on Cougar Town! Outrageous characters, but you ca n't really abort a live baby,... This may have come with the revelation that he is actually 60-years old or! 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